Want To Be Really Happy? Do What You Did To Feel Bad
Are you feeling good today, emotionally I mean? Would you like to? As famous Amos said “Happiness is an inside job”. Feeling good emotionally is an important part of feeling good physically.
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too can become great.” ~ Mark Twain
Who do you listen to? What’s the voice in your head telling you? If you’ve been letting the reactions of others guide the way feel about things it’s probably going to take some time to break that habit.
The best way I know of is to take control of the conversations you have with yourself. To do this you need to realize the way you talk to yourself took years to develop, and it will take effort and time to change. Small progress is good because it helps you keep track of where you’re going.
When practicing tai chi I’ve always used my small improvements to gauge how things are going. In the very beginning progress seemed faster because I didn’t know much. Then as my progress slowed down it got harder to stay on track so I looked for little ways I was improving. The really interesting thing about this is although progress seems really slow sometimes, one day you look up and realize you’ve covered a lot of ground while you were focusing on one step at a time.
The path to a journey of 10,000 steps begins with a single step. One step out of 10,000 seems insignificant but if you keep focusing on each step one day you’ll look up to see you’ve made 1000 steps, then 2000, and so on.
Feeling better emotionally works the same way. You have to focus on one thought at a time. If someone upsets you it has more to do with you that with anyone else because you’re the one feeling it. Other people don’t usually do things designed to upset us; it’s our reaction to what they did. They were just trying to watch out for their own interests, same as you were.
If they were trying to upset you, they were probably upset about something else and you just happened along at the wrong time. It really had nothing to do with you. Step aside and let it pass. It wasn’t yours, so don’t make it yours by grabbing a hold of it.
The best way to avoid a fight is to not be there. The best way to avoid an attack is to not be there. You don’t have to move far to get out of the way of most attacks. If someone were trying to punch you, you could move a couple of inches to one side and the attack would slide right on by.
If someone wants to yell at you because you’re doing your job, don’t fight back. I’ve found that apologizing for something I didn’t even do is a very effective way of taking the air out of their sails. They know I didn’t do anything and by me saying I’m sorry, they no longer have a reason to attack me. It has the power to immediately change the dynamics of the situation.
If you’re thinking about a situation in your life and feeling bad about it, chances are your bad feelings are only going to make matters worse. They distort the way you see the situation and affect the way you act. Try thinking about how you would like the situation to be rather than how it actually is. That will get you thinking about a solution rather than the problem.
This is harder than it sounds so remember to focus on one thought at a time. If you are feeling really bad, it’s a long journey to feeling really good. Don’t try to make the jump all at once or you’ll fall flat on your face. Think one better thought than the last one and realize you may stumble backwards sometimes. That’s OK, just stay focused on the next though in the direction you want to go.
Worrying about anything never solves the problem. Thinking about how you want it to be may not solve it right away either, but it will help you feel better emotionally and physically. When you feel better your mind is clearer and it works better. Which state of mind do you think makes coming up with a solution more likely?
Bye for now,
John
P.S. If you want to help your kids think this way there’s a book called “Go For Your Goals”. I read about it here. http://taichimarie.wordpress.com/2008/08/16/the-law-of-attraction-and-goal-setting-for-kids/
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Aug 31, 2008 - 11:08:26I was having real trouble remembering to catch and change my individual habitual negative thoughts. Moment by moment I was getting caught up in life and that old voice in my head was dragging me down all day long ( still am but getting better) and through an odd method I heard from @benmack on twitter, it seems to be helping me stay more focused easier than anything else I’ve tried so far.
This holiday weekend, I decided to wear a thick rubber band on my wrist and each time I catch myself drifting toward some disempowering thought or pattern, I lightly pop myself ( very lightly as I’m not into more negative stuff like pain) and consciously choose what thought would make me more grateful or propel me more towards my goals and happiness. It’s such a simple thing, but it has helped me catch myself more than anything else I’ve tried.
I’m also doing an EFT session ( I learned from my friend- http://www.catherinebehan.com/) each night right before bed and another one upon awakening to release some of my stuck patterns. This has been the best weekend I’ve had in a long time. I hope this helps someone else.
Thanks for the great info John!
Alissa Fereday
http://www.fearlessartz.com/
follow me on Twitter- http://twitter.com/AlissaFereday
What a great post and so so true! I love Louise Hay’s quote…
“Stop terrifying your self!”
Being conscious of what I am telling myself and how kind I am being to myself is life changing.
Taking control of my thinking is my chosen calling and I am getting better at it all the time.
Posts like this cheer me along my journey!
Cheers!
Catherine
Thanks for the encouragement. Always glad to be of service.
John
By the way if you haven’t visited Alissa Fereday’s site, she has some beautiful artwork there.